BREATH

2.50AM

‘Drip Too Hard – Lil Baby & Gunna’ playing

PicsArt_10-24-06.30.48

Taking these drugs I’m probably gonna be up till morning

No it’s not cocaine or any other hard drug

I just had coffee

But that worked

At least I got your attention; something I can’t get while working on my project

That is why I’m typing this right now

My laptop is updating

I have 25 minutes till it restarts again

So I just saved my project

Who wants to be so deep in designing then get cut off after 25 damn minutes?

Definitely not me

But I can type faster

2.56AM – Note to Self –

I am tired

From the bottom of my heart

I am tired

This is not how I wanted to start my year let alone a semester

But the good thing is, you are allowed to take a break

It is totally normal and healthy to rest

Whenever you feel overwhelmed

Know that it is okay to be tired

And it doesn’t mean that you stop or give up

No, baby, no

It means that you’ll go back rejuvenated

Take a nap, listen to some music

But whatever you do

Do not open Netflix or YouTube

We all know how that ends

3 hours later when you shut down your laptop

You are staring at your reflection

I mean your disappointed self

And you are tired

Not of creating

But tired of consuming content

So no

Read a book or blog if you can

Or take a shower

If you are a snack, scratch that,

You are indeed a snack, take a meal

And get back to work

Like the boss you are

3.05AM

I’m very much awake

If you are gonna take anything from this, let it be that breaks are healthy. Don’t pressure yourself. Whatever it is you are working on, it’s gonna get better with time. And you’ll be so proud of yourself if you complete that project. So no to quitting, but yes to taking breathers and getting back to it. Like I did with my blog lol. Did I just pull that? Bye!

3.08AM

‘Mo Bamba – Sheck Wes’ playing

 

 

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A 10 STEP GUIDE TO BECOMING A STAN

billieeilishwatch.jpg
Billie Eilish, I stan.

For starters, a stan is an obsessive fan of a particular celebrity, mostly an artist. Today we will be learning how to become stan of artists. The very first thing is to pick a subject who you’ll stan, till you die most probably. You have to be obsessed with them. It could be an artist you discovered few days ago and their music really got to you. Alternatively, it could be an artist you’ve been listening to for months or even years.

Shall we get into it already?

1. Say they are underrated. This sells. Don’t worry if they are number 1 on the Billboard charts, they are still underrated and slept on. I don’t care if it’s Kanye West and almost everyone knows him, just say he’s slept on and that people should take time to discover his “magic”. Talk about how the world doesn’t deserve him.

2. Include them in your Twitter/ Instagram bio. Are you really obsessed with someone if they are not on your bio? I mean, who even reads bios? Put them anyway.

3. Make every conversation about them. Are you talking about global warming? No worries. Talk about how they tweeted about that in 2011 and how concerned they are about our environment.

4. Make an Instagram fan account where you post pictures of your subject that we’ve probably already seen on their timeline. Don’t forget to add heart emojis in the caption and hashtags of their 5 names that no one knows about. Tagging them is a wild reach cause they’ll probably never see it but do it anyway.

5. Talk about how people should listen to them instead of other artists. Say that people who don’t listen to your subject just haven’t discovered the good things in life. Remind them that they are losers for not knowing/ listening to your subject.

6. Fight wars for your subject on Twitter. Search for tweets about your subject and start an argument with anyone who has a bad opinion of them. Make sure that these are online strangers you don’t know. Attacking them personally is a bonus.

7. Set them as your lock screen, home screen, desktop background and profile picture. Literally have their picture everywhere. Posting a picture of them regularly and tagging them (which again, they’ll not see) on your stories and timeline also works.

8. Make a video compilation of their best moments which the world has already seen and post it for clout. It could go viral, or not.

9. Make a playlist with their songs and share it with your 1519 followers on Instagram.

10. Lastly, buy posters of them and put them in your room. You can also buy stickers for your laptop or fridge. If you want to be a stan stan, buy a pin/badge and wear it everyday. Let’s fuel capitalism and your obsession. Buy, buy, buy everything with your subject on it, from hoodies to T-shirts to shoes, EVERYTHING. Buy their merch if they have it too. It will probably be expensive but go ahead and spend your money on it. I mean, it’s your money right? Let everyone ask you about them every time they see you. And there you have it, all conversations will most likely be about your subject.

With that being said, I would like to say that these 10 steps have been tested and can be used by anyone who wants to be a stan. Speaking of which, you are a loser if you don’t listen to Billie Eilish. It is important to note that you can stan different people at the same time, which is the reason why I also stan Sia. So, the rumours that I stopped stanning Sia aren’t true (literally only 3 people have asked me about this lol). Sia was my first obsession and for that, I will always adore and respect her forever. At the moment, go listen to and discover my one and only true queen, Billie Eilish.

Also, is it too late to wish you a happy new year? I hope you have a wonderful 2019. I know that I’ve been slacking but I will try and post more content, here and on my instagram (@keshie_muchai).

Thanks for reading, or thank me for teaching you how to be a stan lol.

BAYIIIII

1.11

Rainy nights

Hot chocolate

Fluffy blankets

Scifi movies

Old songs

Home alone

Need For Speed

Loud music

Good food

Two cats

Sunny days

Trips to the mall

Blueberry icecream

New shoes

Chess and scrabble

Time with friends

Laughter from the heart

Cold drinks

New places

Getting lost

Tall trees

Catching sunsets

Camp sites

Adrenaline activities

Absence of bugs

A silent drive home

Uplifting books

Cute wallpapers

Comedy videos on YouTube

Lit playlists on Spotify

Face masks

Healthy hair and skin

Long hot showers

Enough sleep

No classes

Pinterest quotes

Instagram captions

Limegreen and grey

Pancakes

The sun and her flowers

The moon and her stars

Walking at night

Strawberry TicTacs

Lonely rooftops

Deep thoughts

Knowing your worth

Letting go of people

Old pictures

Having memories

Being grateful

Teenage blogs

Broken hearts

Witty writers

Talented singers

Sia hitting high notes

Album releases

Dance choreography videos

Ginger biscuits

Vanilla yoghurt

Late night conversations

Cuddles and naps with someone I love

Find me in those things

Ooh, and right now, find me listening to Wolves by Selena Gomez ft Marshmello!

HAPPY NEW MONTH!!!!

First of all, how did we get to November? 

Let me tell you a funny story, okay maybe it’s not that funny. This article was written last year a time like this and I didn’t think it was good enough. So, I scheduled it to November next year, which is now. I didn’t even realize it until I checked my email and realized people were reacting to it.

PS: I’m sorry for going MIA. I have just been super busy with school and life. But I will update you very soon on what’s been up with my life. Thanks for reading me today. That article was me last year lol. Oh how I have grown. See you next time!

BAYIIIIIIIII❤❤❤❤❤

ocean eyes

The title is dedicated to Billie Eilish (pictured above) who I’ve been loving since I don’t know when. Billie is a great singer and I’m not telling you to listen to her, it just happens that as I am typing these words, her song is playing in the background “...when you give me those ocean eyes…”

I had really missed writing. The thing is I didn’t really plan on a hiatus. If I remember well, I was doing a series and I didn’t even get to finish it. Life just happened.

Then my birthday came and I was going to do a post on 20 things I’ve learnt in my 20 years. But then again, what do you really know about this life Keshie you naughty procrastinator? My mind has not been in a space to write at all off late, but it has been at peace (or not since I was doing my final exams this semester) and I just wanted to share some random things I’ve been loving;

  • Meditation. I know. What in the world Keshie? I’m an over thinker and I really just wanted to calm my thoughts. I downloaded this app called Headspace (not an ad, I wish) and boy have I been feeling zen since then. I’ve been meditating every morning for 3 minutes daily. The most I’ve learnt is that the goal is not to have thoughts at all, it’s to not engage your mind in all of them. To be calm and to let your brain do whatever it wants sometimes. So yeah, go check out that app if you want to and we can be headspace buddies!
  • Taking and editing photos. Where do I even start? I have always had a thing for photography but in the month of June, it’s like my hands just wanted to capture everything, everywhere. If you follow me on Instagram (@keshie_muchai) you know. I would be walking home and want to take a photo of that building, those cars in traffic, those birds, those balloons, my shoes, the sunset. Everything. I love being behind the camera. A LOT.
  • The Slumflower. So I got back on Twitter and let me tell y’all I found this gem called @the_slumflower. It’s like I know her but at the same time I don’t. She’s an unapologetic author, TED X speaker and most importantly one of those beautiful friends everyone needs. I have definitely loved myself more since discovering her, have been more unapologetic about what and who I spend my time on/with and how I live my life. She’s like that person you need to give you positive daily affirmations but at the same time she’ll tell you to be that bitch cause you are that bitch. Okay enough, I just, I stan.
  • Everything is Love (The Carters). If you live under a rock, you probably don’t know that Beyoncé and Jay Z released an album together, so now you know. The reason why this album is special is because the very first time I listened to it, I was happy and living my best life. So every time I listen to it, it takes me back to those memories and a certain mood. Not to mention the album is a work of art, FRIENDS being my favorite song off it.
  • World Cup 2018. Unlike my sister who just started watching the games during the semi finals, I have kinda been following these games since the world cup started. Some by choice, some not. I’m not a football fan or whatever but the adrenaline and anxiety that comes with watching a match is undefeated. And the underdogs have been winning, can’t wait for the finals, maybe, just maybe, Croatia will win that cup.

Okay I’m tired. If we school together, you know how I’ve been loving eating ugali/eggs. I don’t know what happened to me but that’s what I’ve been eating this exam period lol. Also, I’ve been obsessing over Billie Eilish, clearly. On Netflix, nothing I’ve watched beats Money Heist (LA casa de papel).

Your girl is out, I had missed writing honestly so whatever that was, just know it was on my mind. Thanks for coming back every time, BAYIIIIII❤❤❤❤❤

SHADOWS, FLAMES & ROSES – BOOK REVIEW

This is way over due but here we are

Wassup you, yes you reading this, I haven’t done an article like this in a minute (Just kidding, have I ever even done a book review? Who do I think I am lol I need to chill)

So in my quest to read and encourage people to read more books this year, I’m happy to announce that I took part in the editing of a book, an amazing poetry book, let that sink in please, has it?

The book SHADOWS, FLAMES & ROSES is by our very own talented writer and someone I have known for quite sometime, Herbert Mowo

To be honest, when he asked me to help him with the intro and preface and basically the final touches of his first book, I was like “Issa no, I am not worthy to be in your presence because I’m not poetic at all, I just write what I’m feeling anyhow but hell yeah I’m going to do it!”

He is the definition of art to say the very least and before I give you the tea on this book please go check out his blog HERE then come back

This book is a collection of poems about mental illness; depression, self-destruction, anxiety and above them all, love. Finding love and losing it all together.

The first poems are of a teenage girl who self destructs, she is depressed and every time she tries to escape her own thoughts, she finds herself in a cage. She is her own biggest enemy for her own thoughts haunt her.

Later on we see a boy suffering from anxiety who falls in love. The girl he loves is his cure, she heals him from himself and his thoughts. They have a connection but the girl doesn’t show him the same love he gives. She doesn’t love him “that way”. She rejects him and this leads up to the boy getting depressed.

He doesn’t believe he is human, let alone a boy, he was forced to grow up so fast. He was taught to hold his feelings in. He was taught that to be a man you must not get heartbroken and cry “like a girl”. What is this madness that society feeds him?

He is alone. He doesn’t have friends and the girl he gave his heart to tore it apart.
He once tries to kill himself by clenching a crucifix in his palm until he bleeds, saying half hearted prayers constantly mentioning the name of his lost lover.

He was rejected by the girl he loved
The rejection was so blunt
He had imagined the future with her and wanted to make her his queen, but what is life? He is shattered and weak to the point of no end. Did love make him this way?

On one calm night, he gives love another chance. He visits this girl, they fight and she slams the door on him.
He slits his wrist later on that night
He is found dead in a bathtub the next morning
His relatives mourn him, “he looked okay and kept to himself, what could have led to this act of self harm?”
His “girlfriend” is full of guilt and maybe she will never know what peace feels like

The boy is now gone, his lips remain closed forever
Harbouring the words he always wanted to say but never got the chance to
” I want to die”

Sigh, that’s not even half of this book. There are more poems you need to discover. That was just part of my favorite ones which I hope I interpreted well lol.

So where can you get the book and experience the magic that is poetry?

You can get the paperback (hard copy) on Amazon using this LINK or read it on Kindle (softcopy) using this LINK. I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did❤

I just want to say congrats to Herbert for publishing his first book. If you are reading this, just know I loved it and I’m so proud!!!

PS: I’m posting part 4 of the collab I’ve been doing later on today!

BAYIIIIIII❤❤❤❤❤

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES (3)

In case you missed it;

PART 1

PART 2

AND NOW PART 3👇

Chuka, Kenya

You see there is something about that first argument in a relationship. That’s when the strength of your bond is tested.

Nicholas had never been a violent man in his entire life and neither did he have anger problems but on this specific day he looked like he had lost it, hell had broken loose. If you think it was about the wedding, then you are wrong. Remember Bella’s first love? The one she had a child with? He was back. He knew they were in communication and he wanted his son back. At first he chose to ignore it but when she kept pestering him about having a Church wedding, he couldn’t hold it anymore.

That night, Bella had come home from school as usual, made some tea for her husband to sip as she prepared supper and after the meal they peacefully went to bed. Then the usual question was popped up as they lay on bed. “So you decided our union will never be made official?”, she asked in a soft voice. At first there was dead silence, Nicholas was ignoring her again but this time she decided to push him a little further. “You know it would make my mother very happy to finally see me walk down the aisle.” This is what finally triggered his anger. “How can I marry a woman who cannot settle on one man? If you miss him so much you can go back to him, carry your son with you as well!”, he thundered back at her.

“So you have been going through my phone? What else have you been looking at? You don’t trust me?” Bella fired back as she adjusted her sitting position on the bed. “Trust you? How can I trust a woman who is always on phone with another man on every opportunity she gets?” said Nicholas as he turned and faced her. What followed was a hot slap on his left cheek. “Nobody disrespects me like that!” shouted Bella with tears already rolling down her face. The slap angered Nicholas and suddenly blows and kicks fell on Bella.

Martin and his brother were sleeping in their room when they heard the commotion and he quickly got out of bed and went to answer his mother’s cry. Luckily for him, the door was left unlocked. Immediately Nicholas saw him he stopped.

Since that day, life changed a big deal. Nicholas started going out more and had little time for the family. He even took a loan and bought a bike for himself a bike. All he did was hang out with friends and drink. The kids were now old enough to realize that their father was never there for them. In the process, Bella was pregnant with her third child, the one who would completely change her life years later. Anything Bella told her husband fell on deaf ears. She was struggling to get a piece of land and attempt building a decent house for the family but her husband was the opposite of supportive. He only gave her less than a quarter of what he earned, when he was in good moods. During other times he completely disappeared after receiving his salary, sometimes coming back after a week or two.

All this while, she was raising the kids on her own. During one time they were sent off from school and stayed home for over a month. It took the help of the school director to have the kids back in school.

A few months later, Bella was admitted inside the maternity wing at Chogoria Hospital where she gave birth to a baby boy and decided to name him Teddy. Unlike many other deliveries where the husband is present, Bella was on her own here. In fact, she was the one who called her sister to tell her that the delivery was a success. Nicholas? He was out with his friends, a few towns away and only showed up when his In Laws came to pick their daughter and the baby, four days later.

When they got home, he stayed around that night. Perhaps he felt the guilt of leaving his wife all alone, hardly having recovered. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me, you can go out if you want to. I will be okay.” said Bella, trying to start a conversation and kill the silence in the room. “Don’t be like that, you know I’m always here for you, why would you say that to me?”, Nicholas hesitantly replied. There was no response from the other end, silence resumed and they went to bed that night.

Remember the house Bella desperately wanted to build? It was almost done. The roofing was complete, but it had no windows, just the two main doors. She was running out of money and one day she decided to move in. Her husband was against this decision but having hardly contributed anything, his words didn’t change much. Bella was calling the shots now. That gave her some sort of satisfaction, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. She somehow felt independent again. Maybe she had relied too much on her husband, she felt like she had her freedom back.

For the next few months, they stayed in the unfinished house. Fixing a window at a time, until one day everything was done. The house looked nice. Her maternity leave was almost up, so she decided to hire a househelp to leave Teddy with. Martin and Morris were now grown boys. In fact, Martin was sitting his final primary examinations that year. This was bothering Bella a lot, because according to their traditions, once Martin went through his rite of passage he wasn’t supposed to sleep in the same house as his mother. The village people would make a very big deal out of it, so she needed to get ready before it was time.

By now, Nicholas had gotten a couple of promotions, he had even been elected as a representative in the Teacher’s Union. He had made enough money to buy himself a nice car. From the outside, this looked like the perfect family but on the inside, things were very different. One party was doing all the work and the other was just living a flamboyant lifestyle. If they had roles, her husband’s would be showing off, because he did a good job at that.

Bella took up another loan and built her two sons a seperate brick house. Three rooms, two bedrooms and a small sitting room. Nicholas though this was a pure waste of money and thought she cared too much on what people would say about them. This didn’t stop her from doing it though, she happily went ahead with her plan. After the house was complete, she realized she had some loose money left. She decided to construct a structure for rearing chicken because at this point, she needed a side hustle. Servicing two loans from different banks with her salary was going to be hard.

This idea was perfect, she reared hundreds of chicken and sold thousands of eggs. Business was booming. She even expanded the structure and started rearing broilers, fat huge broilers. Her husband would come home late in the night and demanded fried chicken. Waking Martin and Morris up who were now in highschool and asking them to slaughter him one. Bella put up with this madness and never said a word, neither did the boys.

Martin
Martin was a smart young boy, he joined one of the best highschools in the area. His life however, took a horrible turn while in school. This is where he also found out that Nicholas wasn’t his real father and wanted to go back ‘home’.

Such a cliffhanger right? I knooooow. Anyway, apologies for not putting this up last week, life just happens and we don’t always get what we want. Stay tuned for part 4 which will be up next week hopefully where we get to know more about Martin!

Also, I have some exciting news to share with you next Wednesday right here (Hint: It’s about a book)

Thanks for being patient with this collab. It has been quite a journey lol. And also, to those who have been messaging me because I didn’t put this up last week, thanks for your concern. I appreciate each one of you❤

BAYIIIIIIIII❤❤❤❤❤